The Whopper

                                                                               

   

                                                           The Whopper by Sean Taylor

One day there were two men sitting on a park bench. Each was boasting about accomplishments they had achieved over the years and different things they had done trying to impress the other one. After discussing children, wives, finances, and toys they then moved on to other things trying to outdo each other at each turn. The stories of course became more embellished as time went on until they both looked at each other and chuckled.

Realizing they had got a little carried away and being a little embarrassed they stopped talking for a second to get a breath of air.

In an instant, a young man that had been sitting close listening spoke up and said " Those were some great stories and I have enjoyed listening to them" Now if you will please allow me to repay the favor." " I would like to share a little story with you."

Once upon a time in a land far away, there was a fishing tournament. ”

The rules were simple. On Saturday everyone was to meet at the lake at 6am to sign up. $5.00 gets you in and at 7am the contest begins.

There are two categories Biggest Fish and Most Fish. Goldish, Silverish, and Bronzish medals would be awarded for each category,  a cash prize, and a picture in the local newspaper.

But in a small town, the best prize was bragging rights! and we loved to brag almost as much as we liked to fish. I can assure you that the entire town was there on Saturday and we had entrants from all over come and sign up. It was going to be a doozy of a tournament.

And I was going to win! Well, at least that was the plan!

The day of the tournament finally came. The rows and rows of cars up and down the highway and full parking lots pretty much said it all. The sun was out but it was not too hot and you just could not ask for better conditions. The excitement shot through me as I signed up and gave the nice lady my 5 bucks. I grabbed my Fishing ID badge and raffle ticket and headed to the Tackle Shop to get my bait so I would be sure to be at the shore at 7 o'clock.

With a big smile on my face, I walked up to the counter and said " I would like 5 dozen minnows please." The man behind the counter looked out of breath and sweaty. His T-Shirt was soaked and he smelled like seafood " I am so sorry young man he said, but I am sold out". "The best day my store has ever had but I don't have any bait left at all". " I wish I could help you but there is nothing I can do"

And in an instant, my world came crashing to the ground and a week of preparation went out the window just as quickly. Not sure what to do I bought a soda and headed for the shore in hopes of maybe finding something for bait and to at least enjoy this beautiful day the best I could. I mean it could be worse at least it was not raining, right?

Almost as soon as the words came out of my mouth the wind picked up and sent a chill through me as it hit me. The clouds got dark like something out of a horror movie and this wonderful day that just could not get any worse just did and the sky opened up. I don't think I have ever seen raindrops that big before. They stung as they hit me and seemed to follow me as I was scrambling for cover.

The whole thing was funny actually, parents and children, running like some kind of end-of-world movie all huddled under the same enormous tents that were set up for the ceremonies later. Before it could get started it looked like it was over and the joyous mood of earlier was replaced by an entire town plus guests covered in mud and just not having the best Saturday ever. They would be reminded of this the next day when that scene was on the cover of the Sunday paper. I still have a copy framed and on the wall in my den. I look at it anytime I need a good laugh. It always does the trick.

Finally, without much adieu, the rain stopped and the tournament resumed. Tired, cold, and hungry, I found a small dock to sit on and took out my ham sandwich and soft drink, and decided to have an early lunch while the rest of the world besides me was fishing.

After a while the bites started and folks were taking their catches to the stand to be weighed and measured. Little yelps of victory rang out now and then when someone would catch a nice one or someone had a full stringer. Things were really looking up and if was not for the fact that I still did not have any bait everything would be just perfect.

Mother nature having a sense of humor decided to play a little joke on me and I realized that I was sitting right next to a bush full of these very annoying and very enormous grasshoppers that kept hopping in my food. I had to knock them off my can of pop and I started flicking them into the water off the dock like a kid might do and when I did the water boiled and the grasshopper disappeared. Thinking this was pretty cool I flicked another one in there and the same thing happened again.

I admit I am slow sometimes so it took a minute for the light bulb to go off but when it finally did I reached over and grabbed my fishing rod and one of the grasshoppers hooked it up and let it fly.

I was not prepared for what happened next. The bug landed on the water and in no time at all something ate it and my line was getting tight. The fish were eating the bugs as the rain knocked them off the bush and into the water. The bushes surrounding the dock I was sitting on were full of grasshoppers. The water surrounding the dock was full of fish.

The look on the lady's face, when I walked in with all my fish, said it all. "Oh my lord!" she said "Do you need any help?". She walked over and grabbed my arm to help me hoist the enormous stringer of fish onto the table. The people from the tournament weighed and measured all my fish and at the end of the day, not that there was any question. I was declared the winner for both categories most fish and largest. I caught 23 fish in total the largest one weighed 15 lb. and tied the old record. Nobody else came even close.

I received my two medals a total of $100.00 as each category was a $50.00 grand prize. On my way out I collected my prize from winning the raffle I had no use for bath soaps but I figured Mother might enjoy them. As I was leaving I invited everyone to the fish fry afterward and smiled as I walked away with my medals pinned to my chest, the basket of bath soaps, and my fish. I guess it was a good thing the Tackle Shop was out of minnows.